Trying To Impress The Bargirl

I'm trying to impress the bargirl by seeing how drunk I can get.
I can't believe that no one's thought of this before.
This is a fool-proof plan.
I'm sure I'm the man of her dreams.
The drunker I get the more impressed she seems.
(It's the perfect plan!)

I'm trying to impress the bargirl by seeing how drunk I can get.
My friends who left, I guess they didn't want to cramp my style.
She keeps a professional distance, but I know what she truly thinks.
If she didn't want me, why would she keep bringing drinks?
(It's the perfect plan!)

(It's the perfect plan!)
So I asked her when does she get off and she answers where do I get off and I said thats funny.
(It's the perfect plan!)
The bouncers watch me intently, I suppose they're just jealous of me because of me because I'm so funny.
(It's the perfect plan!)
She's going a little bit blurry, something is coming towards me.
I think I'm about to be kissed... No thats just a fist.