Astronaut

I know what you're all wondering, have TriPod ever been to Japan?
You're ignoring a much bigger question, why dont the Japanese have a space program?
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts?
Have you ever seen a Japanese astronaut?
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one, I'll tell you why.


Because you cant do a Japanese tea ceremony when your an astronaut.
It's those damn fat gloves (Fat gloves)
And you cant do (Cant do)
A Japanese tea ceremony when youre in zero grav.
Because the tea goes everywhere (Tea goes everywhere.)

Japanese culture has always fasinated me,
From their traditions to their modern way of life.
But all their elegance and rich history,
doesn't sit well with my interest in space.

Because you cant carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut,
It's the luminous fabric (Too visable.)
And they dont let you (Ooo-ooo)
Use a samurai sword when your an astronaut,
You might puncture the suit.
You might depressurize, like a Gremlin in a microwave.

But it's those damn fat gloves
They're the main problem.
You cant make an origami swan.
And have you ever tried getting a used pantie vending machine into a space shuttle?
Well I've tried and they dont let you.
Fucking mass of red tape.

Couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved,
So I threw away my dreams of outerspace.
I had to find myself a whole new job,
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place.


But you cant do a Japanese tea ceremony when your a boxing champ,
It's those damn fat gloves again (Fat gloves again.)
Those confouded coffee bits go right in front of my face,
Every night and day I'm haunted by fat gloves.

You cant drink saki,
You cant do bukaki,
Or ride a kawasaki,
When your an astronaut.

And they dont let you be an astronaut on Japanese teli,
Because your not enough of a red herring.