Counting Scars

How am I supposed to go on
Knowing everything I've done was wrong
Knowing that this life we built was just a game
Just another charade, a miserable masquerade
How I was I supposed to know we'd see in different shades
When everything was always black and white
But now there's in-betweens, theses blood red dreams
The blue I feel, this sickly green
It's taking me, It's taking me... So I just let go

Now I'm counting scars to fall asleep
My self-inflicted remedy
Drifting slowly to the safe place in my head
The one that only I can see
Confining the secrets that I keep
And my only company is a monster that I call "me"
And it's always so hungry and wants to feed
So I let it feed on my sanity
A meager meal to say the least
But I just call this therapy

Then suddenly I'm wide awake in a cold sweat
Gasping desperately for breath, my mind a racing threat
Hearing taunting voices reminding of the time when we first met
And the plans we made but now forget
I can't help but think of our first kiss
This infinity knot bound to my fist
A fist I shake violently at the sky

God, why?
Why send me an angel when it's so hard to say good bye
So patiently I'll wait for a reply
Will I never see your smile?
Will I never hold you close again?
Now I'll tear out the prologue of our history
Set fire to a story that meant so much to me
And all that's left is the end