Bachelor Pad

We've got a place that we can call our own
We've got a place we rent and live there all alone
We've got a kitchen no one ever sees
The pizza man knows that we tip for extra cheese
We've got a chef, his name is Boy-ar-dee
We wash his meals down with shots and a forty
No plants to water, we don't own a broom
I think next month we will sublet the dining room


Martha Stewart hates our new decor
We match a sofa to a stain that's on the floor
And all the married kids, they think it's sad
Living out our days in a bachelor pad


It's Friday night and I'm alone again
I saw the floor once but I don't know when
Empty bottles stacked on dirty socks
My last six meals came out of a can or box
We bounced the rent check and the landlord's pissed
We made the Health Department's Ten Most Wanted List
Another ordinary bachelor night
Inflate my girlfriend, go to bed, turn out the light


I wanna live all by myself
I don't want you
To be there next to me
I wanna live alone
All by myself
Without you