Numb

is this what I deserve?
what about everything I could have done?
I'm looking at the wall
with my numb eyes
Inside fear, inside pain,
inside hate, How does it feel?
It could be hell, but I know,
this is not heaven
Am I become numb with grief?
After all your lies and screams
I'm not feeling empty
I'm just not feeling
my emotions have been thrown away
don't be afraid is what they said
I'm so close to tear
but not so close to cry
Wish to suffer is not a good thing
But to feel is kinda want to!
I wanna escape from this hole
but i'm stuck inside