Confusion

I am so close to tear
but I'm not so close to cry.
it isn't meant to last and
every fall make it more fast
it will die and it will revive
after every fall it will survive
more stronger in every tear,
more warm, in every smile.
neverending feeling called love,
keep breathing in my rotten core
I keep loosing me in her eyes
funny how she tries to recall my mind
confusion there
I caught a chance that I never deserved
everything seems meaningless
turbolence in me
fragile like a scar on my heart
pathetic she make me
blood everywhere
smarter than me
further away from me
so close to me.