True Hollywood Story

Sitting in my favorite chair
I am waiting for a phone call
I've been waiting for years
Waiting in the dark I know
In my quiet living room
There lies a receipt from Sears
But wait there goes the phone it rings
I jump up and loudly sing
That you've finally come around
Now I'm screaming at the wall
It turns out you didn't call
I'm all alone and you've found

In my home
You know that I'll wait up for gnomes
This depressing romance
Fails to impress the man sitting in my pants
But I won't cry
I'll just sit around complaining and whine
That none of this
Fits in with my true holly wood story

Sitting there I feel so crazed
Knowing that you'd be amazed
At all of the progress I've made
I don't want to look a prick
Even though you make me sick
With all of the therapists I've paid
And I don't think I need to say
You know that you've made me pay
For all the worry I'd bring
And even though you've made me mad
There's no way you'd make me sad
Jumping every time that phone rings