A Life Of Violence

if i bite my tongue much longer i'll choke on blood.
"the issue isn't you; it's my violence
i live a life of limp fists and slit wrists
dead white legs splayed out in
numbered rows

do you want to be
one of those?
i'll never be a safest bet
a woman's safest bet
the triple seven
the safest bet
the winning jockey
the safest bet
the safest bet

my brain's a bomb that wants to blow but my hands say no
my bed's a train without a track and the one route back
is lined with knives all pointed down to the source of the sound
i shake and shake and shake and shake and shake and shake and shake