Self Infliction

too young to know
what could have been
not a care in the world
until, so silent, not ever aware
subtle deception holds on so tight
bleeding me of joy
this black lapse, I Kohllapse
bleeding me, smile is gone
face of despondency
through change, so silent
fighting within, bleeding me
they question my state
I knew they were right
nothing changed, thoughts change
I let go