Nightmare

Feelings bottled up, messed my head up.
Problems unaddressed, fucked my mind up.
Feeling so alone, no one to talk to.
Embarrassment and shame, I'd left it too long.
Anxious and scared, how did I get this way?
This is not me, I shouldn't be this way.
My tongue's tied up, can't get my words out.
Humiliation, my worst nightmare.

My face blushing red, I cannot stop it.
My heart's pounding, I can't control it.
My words make no sense and you're all laughing.
I'm dripping with sweat, I've barely started.
My mind has shut down and I'm all confused.
Simplest requests my brain will not compute.
I'm self-conscious that you're all watching.
I'm paranoid that you're all listening.

Suppressed thoughts will soon see the light.
They torture you so late at night.
They control the way you interact.
Let it out whilst you still can.

I did this to myself, no one else to blame.
Thirteen years of torture, life pissed down the drain.
Thoughts buried deep down, it'll all go away.
Alcohol won't keep these thoughts at bay.
Lying awake at night and I feel fuckin' sick.
Just gimme one more try, I'll start again a fresh.
Choices that I made, when I was a kid,
Have left my head in pieces, I've had enough of it.

I don't want the focus on me,
I'm scared of what you'll think and see.
Nightmares and dreams I'm losing teeth,
I just wanna hide away from you.