The Doctor and William

LUKE: ...Because, playin' funny music's what he's all about.
STYLES: He'll take your radio station, turn it inside out.
J.T.: Livin' in dementia is mental, not physical.
LUKE: With Dr. Demento, and Will gettin' Whimsical.
STYLES: At your beck and call, they will do what you please.
J.T.: Call 562-ODD-TUNE, and they'll play “Dead Puppies”.
LUKE: Doc has
ALL: twenty-seven
STYLES: years and countin' on the air.
LUKE: Will's only got ten,
ALL: But what do we care?

LUKE: Most funniest people,
STYLES: They get top billin'.
J.T.: I get more laughs
ALL: From the Doctor and William!

(*Fire at will.* *Fire at will.* *Fire at will.* *Fire at will, fire at will, fire at will.* *Fire at will!*)

STYLES: The Demented News is on every week, and Will's re-
ALL: portin'
STYLES: the ca-
ALL: vortin'
STYLES: of
J.T.: Every freak.
LUKE: Even crop field hedgehogs,
STYLES: Are punny and witty,
LUKE: At the Land
J.T.: of
LUKE: Dementia
J.T.: in
LUKE: Cul-
J.T.: ver
LUKE: City!
STYLES: Will's at home,
ALL: Playin' his Sega,
STYLES: Takin' out a girly by the name of Enya.
STYLES: His hero's dressed like a bat,
ALL: But don't you ask him, “Where's the bathroom's at?!”
LUKE: The news is always funny,
J.T.: Man, there is no doubt.
(*Slow down, mister!* *I'm spittin' mad!* *Ah, blow it out!*
*Hang onto them hats and glasses!* *Are we startin' this again?*)
J.T.: Because he's
ALL: got
J.T.: More sound
ALL: bites
J.T.: than
ALL: C.N.N.!

LUKE: Most funniest people,
STYLES: They get top billin'.
J.T.: I get more laughs,
ALL: From the Doctor and William.

ALL: Pico and Sepulveda, Pico and Sepulveda,
Pico and Sepulveda, Pico and Sepulveda!
Pico and Sepulveda! Pico and Sepulveda!
Pico and Sepulveda! Pico and Sepulveda!

ALL: Home coming shootin', and carrot juice drinkin'!
ALL: Capitol Steppin', while Ray Stevens is streakin'!
J.T.: Tom Lehrer's prepare-ered, Stan Freberg does Elvis,
STYLES: Col' foolin',
LUKE: Vestabule-in',
J.T.: And my bouffant bulbous.
STYLES: Voobaha, and a bucket of fish heads,
LUKE: And if I was in Monty Python, my name would be 'Two-Sheds'.
J.T.: Saint
LUKE: George-in',
J.T.: Time
LUKE: Warpin', playing every big hit.
ALL: The o - ther D. - J.s sound - like shaving cream!
LUKE: Most funniest people,
STYLES: They get top billin'.
J.T.: I get more laughs,
ALL: From the Doctor and William.

(*Aaah! Noooo! I can't take it! Nooo! Ahhahhah! - That's, that's okay William! That's okay William! That's okay!*)

STYLES: It's the second week of deer camp, drinkin' da beer.
(*Open up the door, it's Dave!*)
ALL: Man, Dave's not here!
(*Who?*)
LUKE: Dungeons and Dragons,
J.T.: And the Dead Alewives
LUKE: Are havin' Mountain Dew right at the Funny Five.
J.T.: Number Four is
STYLES: 'Lijah,
J.T.: And Three,
STYLES: Muddah, Hello.
LUKE: With Fat at Number Two and Number One is as follows:
ALL: The Doctor And William by the great Luke Ski,
ALL: And his rowdy crew, known as Psycho Potpourri!

LUKE: Most funniest people,
STYLES: They get top billin'.
J.T.: I get more laughs,
ALL: From the Doctor and William.

LUKE: He has no patients,
STYLES: And no penicillin,
J.T.: Just thousands of tracks,
ALL: From the Doctor and William.
LUKE: With surfin' old Mimi,
STYLES: And Popsicle Phil, and
J.T.: The Demented News,
ALL: With the Doctor and William.
LUKE: KY102
STYLES: If they mess up, I'll kill 'em,
J.T.: I must get laughs,
ALL: From the Doctor and William.
LUKE: Bugs Bunny-est people,
(*Eeeeh, what's up Doc?*)
STYLES: (E. Fudd voice:) I get mowe waffs fwom the Doctow and William.
LUKE: Simpson-niest people,
(*Whi-Whi-Whimsical Will here!*)
J.T.: I get more news from the Doctor and William.

LUKE: Simpleton-niest people,
J.T.: Like Spike and the City Slickers.
LUKE: Home-spun-niest people,
J.T.: Like Homer and Jethro, man.
LUKE: Unison-niest people,
J.T.: Like Bobs and the Foremen.
LUKE: Accordion-niest people,
J.T.: “Weird Al” Yankovic.
LUKE: Records spun-niest people,
J.T.: This is the right way to parody,
LUKE: Number One-niest people,
J.T.: The Beastie Boys.
LUKE: The rerun-niest, punniest, funniest people,
J.T.: I hope they put this song on the air. Yeah.

LUKE: (Dr. Demento voice:) And on the cool checkin', center stage on the mic, and we're putting it on wax, it's the new style! Woo woo woo!...