Vader Boy

*asterixes indicate sound bites*

Spoken dialogue lines indicated by Character Names:

(notations in parenthesis and italicized)



(8 measure lead-in, with dialogue)


Palpatine: A Jedi gains power through understanding. A Sith gains understanding through power!

Anakin: And with great power comes great responsibility?

Palpatine: Eeh, not for the Sith it doesn't, Tobey!


He was a boy.

I was a girl.

Can George make it any more obvious?

He was a slave,

And I was a queen,

Stuck on Tattooine.

He soon grew up.

I said 'he's fine'.

He lost his hand, so I gave him mine.

But his Jedi friends,

Ruffled their robes,

'Cause they had a problem with his darker clothes.


He was the Vader Boy. Vader: (breathing)

A space aviator boy. Vader: (breathing)

That droid party they did crash.

While R2 ignited fuel, Vader: (breathing)

His long hair still looked so cool. Vader: (breathing)

He sure unhanded Dooku fast. *light sabre cutting off arm, scream*


Now Anakin was

The hero they'd hail,

But some of the Senators wanna Bail.

The council dissed him.

Sent Obi to stop

This cross between Zorak and RoboCop. *Zorak laughs*

I carried his child,

But nobody knew.

With all of this kicking it feels like two.

He dreamt of my death.

It left him in terror,

Which led to his judgement's Grevious error.


Yoda: What a bad pun you have made, ohh hoo hoo hoo!



He was the Vader Boy. Vader: (breathing)

Thanks to that dictator, boy, Vader: (breathing)

With his new wrinkley Gollum head. Palpatine: Precious!

Sidious' evil grin, Vader: (breathing)

Kinda like Darth Nixon. Vader: (breathing)

Blood-stained-glass, Mace window's dead.

He was the Vader Boy. Vader: (breathing)

A real Jedi traitor boy, Vader: (breathing)

Just so that I would not be harmed.

He went really Musta-far, Vader: (breathing)

And now thanks to Chewbacca, Vader: (breathing)

Those battle droids were soon un-armed. *Battle droid says 'Roger roger'* *Chewbacca roars*


*light sabre & blasters*


(8 measure bridge featuring the Nick Atoms' punked out version of the Imperial March)


Obi-Wan: You were the chosen one!

Anakin: Sith happens.


There's no youngling that could hide

From his Jedi genocide.

Thanks to Palpatine's clone tricks,

Now they all root 'Sixty-Six'!

Obi snuck on board my ship.

That's when he just lost his grip. Anakin: (battle grunts, oh no, etc.) *light sabre duel*

He went to pieces that sad day Anakin: (battle grunts, yelling) *light sabre duel*

That he took my breath away. Padme: (choking gasp) *thud*


He's just a Sith,

And I'm just a corpse.

Can George make it any more obvious?

Suddenly there's

Two orphaned kids. Newborn Luke & Leia: (babies crying)

I've got a bad feeling about thi-i-i-i-is,


Now he's the Vader Boy, Vader: (breathing)

With his respirator boy, Vader: (breathing)

And in this saga, evil wins.

Now he's into metal, Vader: (breathing)

And I know we sure as hell Vader: (breathing)

Aren't gonna let him raise these twins.

Now he's Darth Vader, boy. Vader: (breathing)

A real space invader boy. Vader: (breathing)

Leia's a princess on Alderaan.

Luke's on a moisture farm. Vader: (breathing)

They're both safe from any harm, Vader: (breathing)

But fans want to know where the Hell is Han?


*Chewbacca laughs*
Young Han: Laugh it up, fuzzball!


*Vader breathing* (song fades/peters out)