Funny Man

Guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "Where'd that come from?" The duck says "It started as a growth on my butt!" Heh heh. Heh. Hello? Is this thing on?

Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: Say it again now!
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: I'm a funny, funny weird man!
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: Yes I am.
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.

I want to take a minute or two to give much respect to,
To the men like me and Rodney Dangerfield. (No respect!)
Because most women say that they like a sense of humor.
If that's true then I'm the man you want to feel for real.
So come and get it. I swear you won't regret it, or fret it.
Getting involved with that late night talk show crowd.
They're makin' money while they're jokin'
They get laughs as soon as words are spoken,
and Jim Carrey, he's sssmokin'!
So here's to the comics that I protégé,
So when you see me coming I will hear you say,
"Eugh, you're so crazy! Stay away from my baby! Aaah!"

Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: Yes I am!
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: I'm a funny, funny weird man!
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: Take my wife please, now!
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.

I got Moe like Larry 'cause I'm brutal with grace.
A body like Curly with a Harpo face. (Woo woo woo woo!)
Stupid like Stimpy with a real mad Ren. (Joy!)
And the manners of Beavis and Butthead. (Yeah!)
I always got a joke for you every time I see ya.
Makin' funny noises like an onomatopoeia.
You'll give me cheers every time I perform,
So I'll give you something that's out of the NORM!
I'll keep you in hysterics 'cause my act's so enticin'.
I'm not a fake wannabe, trying to be the Diceman
'Little Miss Muffet?' C'mon, that's dead.
You're makin' me Frantic, here's a boot to the head! (*boot* Uhh!)
First I'll say 'How are ya?', then I'll say 'Where are ya from?'
Whether it's stand-up or improvisation.
See other guys that you've had, they try to show that they have wit,
But when they tell a joke you say 'I don't get it'.
You're never gonna get it, never gonna get it, Billy.
I'm just like Graham Chapman, 'cept I'm much too silly.
The original Dinsdale Piranha. You wanna ride on my
Flying Circus Monty Python-a?
And I'm not goin' down like Nemo.
My jokes are always primo, 'cuz you know that my name is not Emo.
My thoughts are never simple 'cause I have a harder mind,
Which means a lot to you 'cause hard men are good to find!

Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: Funny, funny weird man!
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: Say it again now!
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: Ooh ooh ooh!
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: Said what a funny, funny weird man!
(Dinsdale?)
J Styles: I'm a funny, funny weird man!
(Dinsdale?)
J Styles: Now check 'em out.

For years I watched and learned from the likes of George Carlin,
Billy Crystal, Robin Williams, Bill Murray, Steve Martin,
My material's fresh, and my timing is right.
I'll knock you out with one punch line the rest of the night.
I'm a real storyteller, never in a rush.
I don't use vulgarity like a freakin' crutch.
Spend quality time, just perfecting my craft.
I don't want courtesy, I want real laughs.
A comic and an actor and I'll do a double take.
Speak in funny voices with a stutter and a shake.
I'll do a pratfall and land flat on my back.
Always a good lover, 'cause you're mother taught me that, ha!

Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: Funny, funny weird man!
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: Yes I am!
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.
J Styles: What a funny weird man!
Funny man, funny man, funny man, what a funny weird man.

Thank you very much! Goodnight! Don't forget to tip your waitress! Ha ha ha... Uh.

(Huh huh huh. He was funny.) (Yeah, he was pretty funny. Heh Hrm Heh.)