Bathtub Gin

She's got my bathrobe flapping on a flagpole

She's got my choir robe tangled in her concertina wire tattoo

And now my billfold is to water what a train wreck is to a rainbow

And I'm hottie bottled up inside the body of a red-eyed fool



I need a half a tank of gasoline

I need some chocolate bars, some nylons, some cigarettes and magazines

I need some raw meat

Some bed sheets

A window and a little less wind



CHORUS:

I'm doing battle with the Herculean shadow of another man's sins

I'm doing battle with the Herculean shadow of her bathtub gin



She had me kidnapped, abducted, probed, and programmed

And now her mothership is skipping off the atmosphere with me inside

And all these implants are to water what a wiretap is to a sink trap

And I'm a hottie bottled up inside the body of her big brown eyes



I need a hammer and some Vaseline

I need some chocolate bars, some nylons, some Hagen Das and magazines

I need a steel trap

A road map

A thumbtack and a way to cut tin



CHORUS



She's had her share of dancing bears and diamond-scarred blasé affairs

She's had her share of dancing bears

She's never here

She's barely ever there



I need a q-beam, a mickey and a swat team

This whole Mcgyver-of-ill-advised-love thing just ain't working out

And all this whipped cream is to water what a wildcat is to a wet dream

And I'm a model bottled up inside the body of a red-eyed clown



I need a half a tank of gasoline

I need some chocolate bars, some nylons, some ammo and some thorazine

I need a hacksaw

A golf ball

I'd gnaw my leg off but I'm running out of limbs



CHORUS