Nervous And Weird

you know I want to be
the way you want me to
big hearted and tall enough to cover you
I would break in half
if you said it
loud splinter out of myself
just like mercury
I think it's better now
than how it used to be
you were lying in bed
and I would levitate
I think it's better here,
than where we used to be
I wish I could go out into the oregon sun
to be alive in the day
I would smile at everyone
I remember you back in '83
you were dressing insane
you were my everything
you were so different
from all those other girls
a blind electra in drag
so cool and casually lame
I think I'm better now
than how I used to be
always nervous and weird,
scared most of the time
I think it's better now
than how it used to be
always up in the night
afraid to live in the day
afraid of being afraid

now I sit alone
when you're not around
I read aloud
just to hear a friendly voice
I see you scary dolls
they always look at me
from the corner of my eyes
I see them shake their heads
you know I want to be
the way you me to
big hearted and tall enough to cover you
I wish I could go out just to be alive in the day