Kalamazoo

I'm barely standing up
anchoring myself against the wall
and what I drank to ease my nervous mouth
is now threatening to throw me around
And this is where you kissed me
at a party in a house with no heat
in a kitchen with no steady light
the flickering fluorescent putting up a fight.

And now we made the decision that we
need to leave this party and flee
to freeze our bodies in the street.

I'm trying to keep you close.
I feel you shivering through your thin clothes
and we are skin and bones, stumbling downtown in the city you've been calling home.
I need time, I want warmth
I think we want to drink a little more.
I'm getting tired of the way I'm waiting
just say "let's go anywhere that we can be alone".

It's such an obvious lie
when after all of this time
you finally decide
you think we oughta head home.

My heart was racing all the way home straight through the morning til the sun rose.

When you call me excited and
true, we show promise then two
weeks later we're through.

But I refuse to be terrified and I refuse to let the fire die and I refuse to question any motives that I can't find. I need to know just how you feel and if I'm on your mind.