Phat Camp

Every time I watch TV some girl's trying to look like Yasmine Bleeth
with a willing army of surgeons by her side
And they suck it out and they push it in
and we all stand by with baited breath
Staring at the falling food pyramid
while everybody's waiting to diiiiiiii-et
And it's an empirical fact nobody's trying to tap this ass
but if they were they'd have something to grab onto
Cause you never quite know when you're gonna need love handles to hold on for dear life
If you're ever falling off a cliff and I'm standing somewhere nearby shirtless I'll save your life
And this whole damn country is 17
and the newspapers read the magazines
And everybody's standing on the south beach
praying for eternal summer
And me and my friends are on the north shore waiting for December
Cause if the disapproving looks don't get you the cold will
And what ever happened to shake what your momma gave you
they're trying to trade it in for new
And if dieting were natural it wouldn't need an industry
and if you wanna hook us up then give us cheap nutritious eats
not masochistic phds
They make it seem easier to get liposuction
than to buy a new pair of pants
And I can't help but wonder if we would all be happier
if we learned how to hold our own hands
And first you take the left one
and then you take the right
and you forget your pinky's not your thumb and you hold on tight