Walk like your pants are too tight

Marie Has Bought A Gnome,
For A Man Who's A Gnome Fan.
A plonker in a council house,
With a fake tan.
His face has turned purple,
His voice hasn't dropped,
He's so much in need.
Some walk like they're confident,
Whilst others like they've just peed.

He tries as hard as he can,
To walk like a man,
But he don't succeed.

He tries to fly like an eagle,
Dress like a big king in Africa.
He eats lots of Salmon, from Sainsbury's,
So take it from me,
This man he walks like his pants are too tight.
(Walks like his pants are too tight...)

He stays home all day and watches TV,
He only gets up when he wants to go pee.
He orders his pizzas,
And take-away food,
Extra ham, extra cheese...
He drinks in the local,
They call him a freak,
He smells of pig swill.
His pants they are so tight,
He sings like Jimmy Sommerville...

He tries as hard as he can,
To walk like a man,
But hed on't succeed.

He tries to fly like an eagle,
Dress like a big king in Africa.
He eats lots of Salmon, from Sainsbury's,
So take it from me,
This man he walks like his pants are too tight.
(He walks like his pants are too tight...)