Wizard Rock Heart Throb

About a year ago I played my first rock show
I was feeling kinda nervous about how it would go
And so I talked to my rock star friend, Draco
And he said, “Hey man, don't fret,
'Cause wizard rock fans are the sweetest bunch of fans
And most of them are girls and you're basically a man
So, get out there, killer, and rock it like you can.”
And so that's what I did

It soon became clear that rocking wasn't enough
If you're gonna score with groupies, then you gotta be a hunk
You can't get by with overwhelming talent alone
And man, that's all I got
Man, that's all I got

Coulda been a wizard rock heart throb
Coulda been the star of the show
Coulda been a wizard rock heart throb
But Dumbledore found Matt Maggiacomo

He's not as cute as Joe and he's not as cute as Paul
He's not as cute as Brian or Bradley at all
He's not as cute as Alex Carpenter
But then again who is?
He's not as cute as Patrick from the Hinky Punks
'Cause he's packing way too much junk in the trunk
He might be a bit cuter than that guy from Hollow Godric
But that's not saying much
No, that's not saying much

Coulda been a wizard rock heart throb
Coulda been the star of the show
Coulda been a wizard rock heart throb
But Dumbledore found Matt Maggiacomo

Everybody knows that wizard rock girls
Are the prettiest girls in the whole wide world
I know it doesn't help me to whine and complain
But I'm telling you man it's driving me insane

Coulda been a wizard rock heart throb
Coulda been the star of the show
Coulda been a wizard rock heart throb
But Dumbledore found Matt Maggiacomo