Secondhand

1.
Today I feel secondhand
I could tell you where I've been
where I came from
who I belonged to once
but that's memory
I don't want to think about it now
So, things come & they go
most days I am lonely, like Thanksgiving
like the coughing of an engine through the trees
today I am singular
and shuddering

(chorus)
I settle down
I pull my coat around me
on a park bench with pigeons
and the loud
absence of sound
here is November
Christmas lights strung in the lane
bleed onto the pavement
blinking in the rain
they go off and on
off and on again

2.
I wish I could be underground
I'd run my hands along the cool rounded edges
curl my whole body up inside
pretend the sadness of the world
could pass me by

(chorus)
again
and again
I am only my will and my resign
like these ordinary street lamps
dressed up for
Christmastime

(chorus)