Play That Country Tuba, Cowboy

Well musician stories have made the rounds
About travelling bands and redneck towns
But for tuba players this has got to be a first
This one starts like they all do,
I’d been travelling hard for a day or two
And I stopped into this joint to quench my thirst
Up walked this big mountain man
He said, “What you got there? A garbage can?”
I said, “Excuse me, that’s my tuba if you please”
He said, “Great! Play a country song,
so me and my buddies can sing along”
And I told him, “I only play with symphonies”
He slammed his fist, and spit out his beer
And his body language made it very clear
This wasn’t gonna be just another B-flat day
That’s when he cocked his thirty odd six
And boy I let out with some country licks
I never thought I’d hear my tuba play

Play that country tuba, cowboy

Well after a while I ran out of air
And I figured I better get out of there
So I grabbed my horn and I headed for the door
Just about then I felt a lasso
Wrapped around me and my tuba too
And they yanked me back and hollered “More man more!”

Play that country tuba, cowboy