Waste Of Time

What's this I feel I'm weak and on my knees. I'm choking on my bile. If I'm smart I try not to think for a while. A part of me wants to deny what will come. Deception. Dwelling in agony.
I can't stand that I am losing this game. Was I to eager after your affection? This rejection is more than I can take. Was it just the surface that I got into?
I overcome what is done. I haven't lost for so long. The next sunrise will be the worst in my life. The enemy is trying to rip out my heart. They smile while I bleed before them.