Linda Blair

Seat 2C, Oslo to Warsaw, Norwegian Air
It's 9 o'clock in the morning and I'm yawning
Next to a girl with perky beautiful long blonde hair
She's playing a game on her phone and chewing on her Danish
The girl behind me has a demonic cough
She sounds like Linda Blair in The Exorcist
"Blaaaaagh! Blaaaaagh! Blaaaaagh! Blaaaaagh! Blaaaaagh! Blaaaaagh!"
I hope it's just a common cold and nothing serious
If she's got a serious medical condition, I hope the lord blesses her

Last time I played Warsaw, I was with Justin from Godflesh
I couldn't pronounce the name of the town or the venue
But we headlined a metal fest
The names of the other bands I didn't know
But I do remember the aggressive sound of their names
Cryptdeath Cult Kill Baby Motherfuck Lord Kill Dogs Decapitated
"We're a very scary band, raaagh! We're a very scary band, raaagh!
We're a very scary band, raaagh! We have sleeve tattoos and neck tattoos
And we're a very, raaagh! scary band"

I don't know much about Poland, other than Andrew Golota's boxing style
He held his left jab out like a kitten trying to paw a bare sheet out to dry
Making his glass chin a very easy target to find
He quit after round two of Mike Tyson
He was on his ass, his old eyes all bulging with fright
And Lennox Lewis dropped him in round one
He looked like a scared kid being knocked on his ass by his daddy
When his daddy came home drunk
But I have a soft spot for Andrew because the great fighters, he never dodged
And I thought it was mean how his fans pelted him with garbage
On his walkout after he lost to Mike Tyson

Facing Tyson was a very brave thing to do, though he was overmatched
I found the audience's behavior after the fight disgraceful and rude
No matter the flaws in local fighters, show them love and support
Take the high road towards Andrew Golota, be a good sport
And that Tyson fight, Golota's brains might have become unglued
To be honest, I don't have a clue
But those people who throwing things at him on his way out
Were despicable and bullying and its worst
He was fighting Mike Tyson and representing your country
And his fans added humiliation and more hurt to his hurt

And yeah, when Lennox dropped him in round one
I felt an even stronger connection with Andrew Golota
He went out there so determined, but like a lamb he got slaughtered
His weakness was that awkward footwork and that clumsy lead left
And those stupid little bulls, Tourettic bull
A legendary, he was just simply overmatched
He is imperfect, as we all are
Let's face it, we're all scared little girls and boys
So everyone right now, for Andrew Golota, make some fucking noise
So everybody right now, for Andrew Golota, make some fucking noise
So everybody right now, for Andrew Golota, make some fucking noise

Other than Golota, I don't know much about Poland
I guess my ancestry is here, and I guess that's saying something
I gotta admit, I never looked too deeply into it
Well this is the truth, before my name became Kozelek it was actually Koziołek
One time I played the OFF Festival in the summer, I played a seated venue
And a woman cooked for me Italian food and it was wonderful
And I've been to Italy more times than I can ever count
And that Polish woman cooked the best Italian meal I ever had
And that's no fucking joke

Then I shared a taxi to the airport with Owen Ashworth and the band Wire
I said, "Owen, did you ever notice how Poland looks like Ohio?"
He said, "Yeah, it does" and that's all he said
Owen Ashworth is a great songwriter from Chicago, Illinois if you never heard of him
Now everyone should show gratitude for all the beautiful things in this world
There are cornfields along the road and the meals the kind people cook for us
There are bands who come to our countries who play beautiful music for us
There are fans who come to our shows and pay money to listen to us

We're in this life once, so let's absorb what's around it
And not make a fuss over the little things
We may live to be old or tomorrow we might get hit by a bus
I got a lot of love for all people
I got a lot of love, I got a lot of love, I got a lot of love
I got a lot of love for the imperfect low-blowing Andrew Golota
I got a lot of love for you, all you in Warsaw
If I had to be honest, there's only one thing that I don't love at all
It's the music of Steely Dan, it makes my fucking skin crawl
Well if I had to be honest, there's also one other thing that I don't love at all
It's the music of the fucking Eagles
That makes me wanna put my fist through the fucking wall

Now let's sing about the songs we love very much
AC/DC's "A Touch Too Much"
Now let's sing about the songs we love very much
Neil Young's "Harvest Moon" and "After the Gold Rush"
Now let's sing a song that I, we all know and love very, very much
ZZ Top, "I Ain't Asking For Much"
Now let's sing a song by Queen, that I love very much
"I just need somebody to love, find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love, find me somebody to love, find me somebody to--"
Now let's sing a song that everybody loves by Led Zeppelin
"A whole lotta love, got a lotta love, got a whole lotta love
I got a lotta love, I got a whole lotta love, baby, baby
Got a whole lotta love, ooh baby, baby, got a whole lotta love
Got a whole lotta love, ooh baby, baby, got a whole lotta love
Got a whole lotta love, baby, baby, got a whole lotta love
I got a whole lotta love, baby, baby, baby, got a whole lotta love"

Now we're gonna sing one of my songs that I know you all love
It's from my album Benji, it's from my mom
And it's called "I Can't Live Without My Mother's Love"