String Of Pearls

She swings
A string
Of pearls on the corner
The streelight reflects
The light on the water
The string, it snaps
And the pearls go sailing
And they splash
And bounce
And roll cross the wet street
As she bends to chase the pearls
A car swings round the corner
She darts from the eyes
Of the panic struck driver
Who's racing to
The delivery room
'Cause in the backseet his wife
Is busting out of her womb

The sack breaks and out come the siamese twins
Who grow up to become
The first president with two heads
Are better than one
He puts his heads in his hands,
Says I gotta put my heads together
I can become the Best President Ever
And not just president
Fend for yourself

Signs his name takes the blame
For all of the names with no shame
In their belief they adjourn
And the leave
And in walks a man
With a broom, and a knife
And blood on his hands
And he sweeps everything
Under the rug
And goes home
To his kids, gives them a hug
But his wife was not there, she had just left a letter
That said you'll be much
Better off without me

Now his wife took the train
To her ex-lovers funeral
Who died in the bathroom,
Hit his head on a urinal
When they got together, the knowledge was carnal
And the widow was at the funeral, and they had quite a catfight
And they fell into the grave where the casket was resting
And the preacher just left in the middle of the service
'Cause death was one thing,
But women made him nervous
And he got into his car,
And he drove round the corner

Then something in the street
Caught the light in his eye
He pulled over, reached down
And picked up the pearl from the gutter
He didnt know what to think
He brought it home and washed it in the sink
And he gave the pearl
To Sister Mary Theresa
Who could not accept it,
So she gave it to Lisa
A young prostitute who was missing a pearl
on the necklace that broke
Late last night