Suicide Prayer

Bad => Worse

I lost movement
I lost soul
I lost Shiner

Sweet fears of childhood washed away
Left with wary eyes
Comprehending "The fall", between resolution and absolution
Dead set on living
Through my eyes; You cheated me
Is this the only way to feel alive?

I've lost darkness
Death
God
And save the best for last: Evil

Sweet fears turned into voluptuous shudders
Burning eyes
An ecstatic state between resolute and absolute
Dead set on death

Accompanied by moments of rapturous beauty that keeps me clinging to this mass of atoms

Dear God, strike me down
Or blind me now and I'll release my soul to hell

Will these tears of honey be devoured by insects?
Will this weight of nothing - This crushing sadness - The only thing that let's me know I'm truly alive - Vanish like my sweet naive fears?

Why did you make it this way?