Sermon

"Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the church of slack.
I come before you today to save you from the perils of the evil.
The clutches of sin!
And the devils and daemons lurking from within.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I come before you today and I present the world's first guilt-free religion.
That's right, boys and girls, no more waking up early on sunday morning,
it's all about believing in yourself!
I said it's all about believing in yourself!
I said it's all about believing in yourself!
Now listen up closely and listen to me,
and I'll make sure you live the rest of your life bullshit-free!
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, everybody out there, listen to me right now.
I want you to put your hand on the stereo.
Put your hand on the speaker.
Not that speaker, the other speaker!
Put your hand on the speaker.
I want you to put your hands in the air where I can see them.
And I want you to repeat after me:
I am somebody!
I said I am somebody!
And I'm gonna believe in myself!
Because...
I am somebody!
And I'm gonna shake my ass."