Song For When You Want To Say I Love You But You Can't

Hey girl
You know we've been dating for a long time now
Going on five whole weeks

Now that's commitment, baby
So we've prepared this very special song
For the very special ladies in our lives
Listen up

It was magic on our first date
At the food court in the mall (at the Sbarro)
You still won't let me meet your parents
But hey, that's your call
(You're a strong, independent woman)

Remember our first kiss
Romantically lit
In the Wal-Mart parking lot
(Always low prices)
And then what did we do?
We got matching tattoos
Of our high school mascot
(The charging chipmunks)
Now I'm ready to say

I lost my shoe in the park
It was a flip-flop, have you seen it?
I lotioned my skin with hotel shampoo
It was an accident

You nursed me back to health
When I woke up in Mexico
(He was missing a kidney)
And I drove you to the hospital
When you fell off the hoverboard
And broke both elbows
(All two of 'em)

You shaved my hairy back
Popped the pimples I can't reach
And you went with me to get my dog spayed
(Helping control the pet population)
I think it's time to lock this down
Open my heart
And finally say

I long-jump on the weekends
I'm in a league, you should come watch
I lowered my car insurance
By fifteen percent when I switched to Geico
(Not a sponsor)

Those three little words
They're so hard to say
And even though I can't say 'em
I want you think I'm saying 'em anyway

I'll make you happy
If you just do this
Just put it on mute (mute it up)
And read my lips

Olive juice
Elephant poo
All the shoes
On the news

I love booze
Alligator food
Island view
Vacuum
Pile of poo
Dried-up glue
Buy a zoo
Crawl and spew
Cows like moo
Find Blues Clues
I lick boots
Is that you?
All birds flew
Eyes like puce
Owls can hoot
Barbecue