Elon Musk Is Making Me Sad

Let me tell you a tale about a rivalry
Grab an Eagle Number Two and keep the score
There were these two young boys that came from average broken homes
With all the luxuries the middle class affords

Oh, Lord…

Elon’s making me so sad cause I calculated the math
Of our birthdates
And I had a head start out of the start gate
Two years plus eighty-six days
But that all went to waste

Oh, Elon you’re making me so sad
'Cause the race that I wanted to have was not much of a race
And I tried, Love
And for a moment I thrived, Love
But could not keep my stride up to keep pace

But for a second, there’s no question, I had the lead in '95
I mismanaged my advantage
Like a rocket ship he blasted by
To incredible heights
Incredible heights

In nineteen eighty-two, on Christmas day
Santa gave us each a brand-new Commodore
I used mine to make fake I.D.’s and buy beer in junior high
While my foe studied every bit of that 8bit whore

Are you keeping score?

'Cause Elon’s making me so sad cause I calculated the math
Of our birthdates
And I had a head start out of the start gate
Two years plus eighty-six days
But that all went to waste

Oh, Elon you’re making me so sad
'Cause the race that I wanted to have was not much of a race
And I tried, Love
For a moment I thrived, Love
But could not keep my stride up to keep pace

But for a second, there’s no question, I had the lead in '95
I mismanaged my advantage
Like a rocket ship he blasted by
To incredible heights

When it’s time to say goodbye
What will they write on my tombstone?
Just that last little line from the Happy Days Video
Not so good, Jonze

Hey, Elon! (Hey, Elon!) I don’t know what I have become (Hey, Elon!)
I need someone to help change my fate

I think you can save me! (Can you save me? I think you can save me!)
Do you think you can save me? Do you have the power to help me escape?

Oh, Elon! Let me be the first one, of your new civilization
To be saved
Yes! I’ll try, Love!
I swear to you I can thrive, Love!
This time I’ll keep my stride up and keep pace
Only you can change my Q-score!
Make me the first one out of that door
First boots out on the Martian Floor to proclaim
Oh, that Elon!
Sent me all the way, Son
A hundred thirty-nine million miles away!

Elon! Send me away; send me away!
Elon, send me away (Tell me I’m saved!)
Elon! Tell me I’m saved; tell me I’m saved!
Elon tell me I’m saved
(Send me away!)

You have the power to save, you have the power to save me!
You have the power to save, you have the power to save me!

And then I will say, I went to Mars and won the race!
Yeah, I will say, I took first place!
Oh, I rode that Old Heart of Gold the whole way
And in the end, hey, won the race!
Oh, oh! Elon! Let me win the race; win the race!
Oh, Elon! Let me take first place!
Elon! Tell me I am saved; I am saved! Elon tell me I am saved!

You have the power to save; you have the power to save me!
(Elon, tell me I am saved!)
You have the power to save; you have the power to save me!
(Tell me I am saved!)
You have the power to save me! You have the power to save me! (Send me away!)
You have the power to save!