Solve for the Absence of Light

I'm merely a shadow of time.
I swing, I sway, and stumble,
To make use of my time.
Well I'm just dealing with mine,
The hand I was dealt.
But I was never a gambler,
And lucky is just something I've never felt.

I'm just a shadow of time
I think, I breathe, and _________
To find a vessel and purpose, I'm trying.
I roll over te hills like clouds.
Ribbons of smoke in crowds.
Swelling and suffocating, taking up space.
Well if it's mine, then it's mine to waste.

Living and rotting,
What's the difference?
Well if you believe in balance,
It's the distance.
I'm tired of living in fear and doubt,
I just want to know what it's really all about.

I just want the hurtful truth.
I just want the evident proof.
I want you to admit that all of your words are counterfeit.
Without all the reasons you don't want to quit.

I just don't want to feel like a ghost anymore.
I beg, just give me another ghost to adore.
So I'm not so cold, frightened, and alone.
Where my wishes don't require atone.

I was positive.
I thought...but now I'm sure.
There really is no cure.