Suicide Trees

[1]

I spent my whole life
in love with despair

kept my lungs full
with the breath of their
mute atmosphere

... i became what i hate.

and thus shall i remain
to give birth to a mighty assassin
armed with a weapon of words

to defy the lies
to never compromise

no.
today, my name .... is pain.

[2]

i stood
beyond the world

whispering secret syllables
in the eyeless dark

dancing wildly
round and round on the rotting ground

surrounded by the dead dusts of hell ...

this is how i delete myself
& this is how i corrupt everyone else

obey
obey
betray
betray

you are not unique.
you do not need to think.
take it, take it!

i will,
i will ... i will.

you succumb, so nicely.

[like an insect staring back, like a dying dove]
my love ..... [no] ..... my love.

[song]

so here we are again
the sheets are stained & bloodied
the animals scratch at my skin

here we are again
my face is scraped & bloodied
i've nothing left to give

- i wasn't there,
- i'm not involved,
- i'm innocent,
- it's not my fault.

- i wasn't there,
- i'm not involved,
- i'm innocent,
- it's not my fault.

.. here in the suicide trees.
.. here in the suicide trees.

[[no. bloody, bloody, bloody, murder!]]
among the excrement of my sins!!
it's not happening, it can't be happening, it's not happening.

so here we are again
in secret ceremonies
changing shape, amen.

here we are again
pretending not to notice
the illness sneaking in.

- i wasn't there,
- i'm not involved,
- i'm innocent,
- it's not my fault.

- i wasn't there,
- i'm not involved,
- i'm innocent,
- it's not my fault.

.. here in the suicide trees.
.. here in the suicide trees.

toil & labor
hate your neighbor
faith in favor
obey!

toil & labor
hate your neighbor
faith in favor
obey!

obey.
obey.

here, i do as i please!
here in the suicide trees!

here, i do as i please!
here in the suicide trees!!

obey!!

hate your neighbors!
hate your neighbors!!

[the animals scratch at my skin]
it's not happening, it's not happening