My hair just grew three and a half inches

Is this the point where I begin to feel impressed?
How funny that the exact opposite is occurring.
Just shut up, please shut up.
I beg of you, close your mouth.
I'd kindly ask you to no longer breathe,
But then who would I blindly criticize?
Hypothetically, lets say that situation
Were to occur unpleasant moments of introspection
Would be a necessity and honestly,
Where's the fun in that?
Mother's favorite little hypocrite
Is strolling through town again.
Welcome home, welcome home.