The Cat Is Dead

Deedle Dee, three tots are we. And we're as clever as can be. We live with Grandma Ida and our dear old Grandpa Ned And little Baby Mike (the brat) And don't forget the siamese cat And in the attic from Detroit is big, fat Uncle Fred Oh Grandpa wishes he were rich, and Grandma just complains (the bitch) And Uncle Fred gets drunk while Mike just cries all night and day The cat thinks that he owns the place He bites and scratches on the face It'd be so nice if they just went away, away Ooh daddle, daddle daddle daddle daddle daddle day (Chorus) The cat is dead, the cat is dead I went to pat him on the head He didn't purr, he didn't meow he didn't blink or snip. He seemed to have a funny smile that made me laugh But all the while, the tail that used o flip and flap Got awful cold and stiff. We chopped him into tiny bits, And seasoned him with apple bits and with some dust, we made a crust and put him in a pie. Into the oven he did sit, until the crust was nice and crisp I'll love that little kitty till I die. Dee die, dee di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di. The cat is dead, the cat is dead. And Mikey too, and Uncle Fred Expiring oh so suddenly while sipping down some tea. The tea was hot, the tea was hot With stricknine and a little spice to Cover up the funny taste of our conspiracy. When Grandpa saw what we had done, He went straight for his hunting gun But we were quick we sole the clip The rest is history To make sure Grandma wouldn't flea We gave her a lobotomy And now's she's just as happy as can be Dee dee, dee deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle dee (Chorus)