My Peanuts

Well they're low cholesterol and high protein
hotter than a Mexican jumping bean
Have em dry roasted or vacuum packed
my peanuts come alive when you open that sack
Smoother than jiff, and fresher than planters
my peanuts exceed all standards
Def enough to knock you to your knees
and even planters don't crack no nuts like these
My peanuts!

Well they rock they top they hit the spot
open a can and gobble em up
They're ready for action, the girls do snatch em
sure to give you some satisfaction
So let's not squibble they sure ain't little
Deffer than any ole peanut brittle
An if you wanna chill no need to get ill
my peanuts give you a thrill
Like mickey dees my peanuts an me
were tasty eating from sea to sea
My peanuts!

My nuts stand tall they never fall
Ripe and yes always on the ball
FDA fresh and they are the best
A winner of every damn taste test
Eat em for pleasure or at your leisure
a taste that all the girls do treasure
Never illin but chillin
Never stealin but dealin
my peanuts are what you're feelin
I take em to the beach, I take em to the park
I takem to your mothers house after dark
They ain't like no nuts from Jimmy Carter
I know my nuts rock you harder
My peanuts!

I met a home girl from around the way
she saw my peanuts and wanted to play
She said can I hold your peanuts inside my hand
I said be careful cause they're in demand
I took my peanuts outta the sack
her hand started movin up, down and back
She squeezed too hard, I said oh brother
it looks like you made peanut butter
Next time I jam her
I think I am a gonna talk a little bout my banana
Banana and nuts, banana and nuts
I'm gonna give you some banana an nuts
Banana an nuts banana an nuts
I think you need my banana an nuts

Always classy, never trashy, always flashy, never rashy, always tasty, never hasty, always racy, never pasty
You know nothin will come between us, unless of course it is-
(What is it?)
My peanuts!

This girl was yellin my head was swellin
What she was sayin there ain't no tellin
I needed something to quiet her down
and my peanuts was all I found
I baked em I shaked em and then she taked em
Soon all was quiet in the house
because my peanuts were in her mouth
Like M&M's you understand
they melt in your mouth and not in your hand
My peanuts have the fame my peanuts have the glory
my peanuts will invade your territory
My peanuts!

I'll tell ya a little story bout a man named mel
Keep his peanuts inside the shell
Then one day he got hungry for some food
He ate his own peanuts now ain't that rude?
(Dry roasted, vacuum packed, on a half shell, don't tell Granny)
A girl who looked much better than bad
took my peanuts from inside my bag
Tasted them and then said I had salt peanuts, salt peanuts
My peanuts always rise to any occasion
My peanuts can handle any social situation

I met a home girl from Albuquerque
who ate my peanuts with her turkey
I know this song is kinda long
I guess I have ta go and I'll be gone
Bust this beat just one more time
cause I think I have just one more rhyme

Have my peanuts and a diet coke
My peanuts and a little joke
My peanuts and some hog jowls
My peanuts and some candied yams