What If...?

When will my luck change
When will this feel less as strange
When will this be just a dream
When will things be what they seem
With every breath that I take
With every mistake that I make
Why did I have to walk away
I regret it every day

All alone is how I feel
I hope to god this aint real
But when I don't wake from my fears
The thought of this brings me to tears
Why can't life be just a breeze
Live through all of it with ease
Why does this have to be so hard
The joker is my only card

These endless days they slowly fade
My own dispair I have made
All these moments that I miss
I am sick of all of this
Everything has become so sad
It's no surprise I feel this bad
I wonder why I exist at all
There's nowhere else for me to fall

It's become too hard to fake smile
And has been this way for quite a while
How can I make amends
Cause all i want is this to end
Taking time to make life worse
I must be tainted with a curse
A change of time a change of place
A change of look apon my face