Anchored

This feeling is lingering
Everyday I wake up feeling defeated
Why must I crave death?
Where is my happiness?
I’ve spent years focusing on self-reflection
Just for everything to crumble
Am I real? / I don’t know / Will I ever? / Where can I disappear?

In my dream I was drowning in the sea
Sinking while my lungs collapsed
Why can’t I feel at ease?
Why is my answer death?
When I woke up it felt like I still couldn’t breathe
I ask myself why

The feeling lingers
It clings to me, like paint on a wall, like skin onto flesh
At night I close my eyes and hope my dream becomes reality and I’m swallowed by the sea
My broken spirit suffers
If I could just feel weightless

I want it, but I gave up
I wanted it so badly