Pick Up The Phone

I was scrolling through pictures
And, oh, God, I miss her
That girl that I used to be
She filled rooms with light
And the [?] to life
'Til the pain got the best of me

There's things in my shirt [?]
And the lack of self-worth
And the mold's inside the coffee cup
Haven't brushed my hair
Chronically self-aware
I'm the only one who think's I'm a fuck-up

I know I should just pick up the phone
And tell my brother that I feel alone
And, there I'd be [?], I'd really ought to go
This time
But serotonin's fucking with my head
She's making it so hard to leave my bed
It's crazy that I know what would be best
And still don't wanna get
Better, better, better, better
I don't want
To get better, and better, better, better
I don't want—

My career and my job
And the best fucking mom
All the people who sing me songs
And Katie and Sophie
A girlfriend who knows me
I still don't think I'm deserving

To be loved when I'm the one who's hurting

I know I should just pick up the phone
And tell my brother that I feel alone
And, there I'd be [?], I'd really ought to go
This time
But serotonin's fucking with my head
She's making it so hard to leave my bed
It's crazy that I know what would be best
And still don't wanna get
Better, better, better, better
I don't want
To get better, better, better, better
I don't want—

To get better, better, better, better
I don't wanna—
To get better, better, better, better
I don't wanna—

I know I should just pick up the phone