Treasure Map

Happily this afternoon,
Along the beach I waddle.
Looking at the sand,
I spy an old, forgotten bottle!

I pick it up, and look at it!
My eyes go big and wide!
For heaven's yes! There seems to be
A treasure map inside!

Somewhere at the tail end
Of this twisty, dotted line
A chest of gold awaits,
And soon it's going to be mine!

I buy a sturdy shovel,
Since the treasure will be deep.
I buy expensive boots,
Because my old ones are too cheap.

I buy a fancy compass
And a treasure-hunting cap,
Then off I set, into the forest
Eyes upon my map.

So carefully I trace the pathway,
Every little bend
It's almost getting dark,
Before - at last! I reach the end!

I'm so excited, I can't help
But do a little jig!
I calm myself, take out my shovel,
And proceed to dig.

I dig and dig and dig
Until my hands begin to hurt,
Then finally, my treasure chest!
All worn and caked in dirt!

But when I look inside the chest,
I only find a note.
Upon it is this simple little message,
And I quote:

“Everybody wants to find
A buried treasure chest,
But no-one wants to bury one.
If you do, be my guest!”

Pirates are assholes.