Anyone For Tinnies

It's the time
Last orders chime
Closing time,
Toll the bell,
Don't panic,
Last order bell,
Before I roam I feel my mouth
Begin to foam,
It's not too late
To get some tins
Seal my fate, I need to quench my raging thirst
There's plenty more cash in my purse
I say bartender, re-open the bar straight away
I believe a lock-in is order of the day,
ANY ONE FOR LOCK-INS
I don't see why Landlords got the buff
Lock-ins are great
I was perfectly chuffed
I was perfectly chuffed,
Why is be wielding that hat
The one of the baseball variety
This puts pay to my play
The twist of my sobriety,
Well that did nothing for my nerves
What a terrible fright
I'll go and find a liquor store
In the dead of the night
Anyone for tinnies
There's ducks in my mouth
An alcoholic drought
My nerves are in tatters
Inebriation is all that matters,
What is the problem with the world
All I want is to have a drink
Pour that brew right down my neck
I don't ask much I don't think,
So off we go, back to my place
Open my fridge and peer within
On comes the light, look round the lettuce
My fridge is full, it's tinnies heaven,
Grab a four pack and a few tins more
On with the telly, slump on the floor
The Hitman and Her I thankfully missed
Who gives a sod, I'm totally pissed