The Illegal Download Song

You wouldn't interfere with kids
And lock them in your shed
You wouldn't pick up a hitchhiker
And stab them till they're dead
Then embalm their body with vinegar
And keep them in your bed
Wouldn't get them out at meal times
And make them garlic bread
You wouldn't break into your neighbour's house
While he was overseas
And murder all his goldfish
And steal all his CD's
And while you're there squat on his bed
And try and squeeze the cheese
But you are guilty of a crime
That's as bad as any of these

All these things that I've said
Are perverted and wrong
It's exactly the same as downloading this song

'Cause everytime you share our files
The evil God of download smiles
And a little deformed baby cries
Tears of blood from his jap's eye
While you eat, dance and relax
Listening to our stolen tracks
Me and Little Kunt boo-hoo
Over our lost revenue

You wouldn't hang around the woods
Wearing just a cape
Or jump out on a lady
Pin her down and do a rape
With a Sony Handicam
Film it all on tape
Then climb on a unicycle
And make good your escape

'Cause like this, file-sharing is an illegal act
Just like paedophilia and that's an actual fact

'Cause everytime you share our files
The evil God of download smiles
And a little deformed baby cries
Tears of blood from his jap's eye
And while you've got your iPod on
Singing along to our stolen songs
In the woods just walking through
They'll be someone in a cape coming after you