Something Better

(Intro, spoken as Rowlf plays improv on the piano)
Rowlf: Evening. You like you could use a drink.
Kermit: Yeah, I'd like a grasshopper please.
Rowlf: Hey could we have a grasshopper for the frog?
Kermit: Uh that's Kermit. Kermit the Frog.
Rowlf: Oh. Rowlf. Rowlf the Dog here, pleased to meet ya.
(Rowlf plays a rapid musical scale across the piano's keys)
Rowlf: I'm no Heifetz, but I get by.
(pause while Rowlf plays)
Rowlf: Lemme guess, broken heart, right?
Kermit: Uh, does it show?
Rowlf: Listen, when you've been tickling the ivories as long as I have, you've seen a broken heart for every drop of rain, a shattered dream for every fallen star!
Kermit: Exactly. She just walked out on me.
Rowlf: Yeah, typical. That's why I live alone.
Kermit: You do, huh?
Rowlf: You bet! (starts the song's intro) I finish work, I go home, read a book, have a couple of beers, take myself for a walk and go to bed.
Kermit: Nice and simple.
Rowlf: "Stay away from women." That's my motto.
Kermit: But I can't.
Rowlf: Neither can I. That's my trouble...

(Singing)
Rowlf:
You can't live with 'em, you can't live without 'em.
There's somethin' irresistabullish about 'em.
We grin and bear it 'cause the nights are long.
I hope that somethin' better comes along.


Kermit: (spoken): I see what you mean...


Kermit:
It's no good complainin' and pointless to holler.
Rowlf:
If she's a beauty she'll get under your collar.
Kermit:
She made a monkey out of old King Kong,
Both:
I hope that somethin' better comes along.


Rowlf:
Ah, but what could be better than a saucy Irish Setter
When puppy love comes on strong?
Or a collie that's classy, a laddie needs a lassie,
A lover and wife gives you a new leash on life.


Kermit: (spoken): Uh, was that a new 'leash' on life?
Rowlf: (spoken): Oh yeah... sorry about that.
Rowlf: (singing): Two, three, four...


Kermit:
I don't mean to scare ya, my friend, but I betcha
Come Father's Day, the litter bug's gonna getcha;
Rowlf:
The urge is righteous, but the face is wrong.
Both:
I hope that somethin' better comes along.


Kermit:
Still, it's fun when they're fetching,
And agree to see an etching
That you keep at your lily pad.
There is no solution, it's part of evolution,
Rowlf:
The pitter-patter of soles,
The little feet of tadpoles!


Kermit: (spoken) Ah, Rowlf, tadpoles don't have feet!
Rowlf: (spoken) Oh. Sorry about that....
Rowlf: (singing): Two, three, four...


Kermit:
There's no limitation to mixin' and matchin'
Rowlf:
Some get an itchin' for a critter they've been scratchin'.
A skunk was badgered the results were strong.
I hope that somethin' better,
Both:
I hope that somethin' better,
I hope that somethin' better comes along!!!
Rowlf: Beep bop, bidda didda boo bop bidda bidda boom ba dum bum...

Rowlf: (spoken): It's not often you see a guy that green have the blues that bad.