DAMN , I WISH I WAS A NIGGER

if i was a nigger...i could drive a cadillac with class

my pocket stuffed with welfare checks, and i could sit on my big black ass

now you take a nigger, he aint nobody's fool, he doesn't buy any gasoline to drive his kids to school

damn i wish i was a nigger

our government has gone crazy, id change things if i could

if i was only a nigger, i could afford to live in a white neighborhood

oh the things that i could do, if i was black and hell bent

i could send my kids to college, and it wouldn't cost me one damn cent

damn i wish i was a nigger

the wife and i were down on our luck, we were really getting uptight

they said at the welfare office, you aint black you're white

oh how I've tried to get a job, a diploma i had with pride

the post office man laughed and said youre not dark enough to even qualify

damn i wish i was a nigger

i took a civil service exam, and passed it without shame

a nigger took one next to me, and he couldnt even write his own name

the nigger, he got the job, now he's government top ?prass?

he couldn't qualify for a trash truck, I'm out on the street on my ass

damn i wish i was a nigger

if i was a Jesse Jackson, id be nobody's slob

wearin $500.00 dollar suits, that nigger hasn't even got a job

if i was Jackson Brown, i could sit back and relax

and if elected president, could paint the white house black

damn i wish i was a nigger

if i was a jig-a-boo, i could find me my roots

with a afro big as a watermelon, and a pair of white disco boots

if i was only dark complexioned, i could stand tall in this life

i could eat high off the hog, just me and my white wife

damn i wish i was a nigger

things are supposed to be segregated, but things are a little off key

I've never seen a white man, head...of the NAACP

it aint that i don't like a nigger, if I've rubbed you wrong by chance

take a look at that mistletoe, hanging on the seat of my pants

damn i wish i was a nigger

if i was a kinky top, i could be a Martin Luther King

id have me a vision on a mountain top, my song the whole world would sing

i could have me a peace march, on the streets of Memphis, Tennessee

i could tare up the whole damn city, and the police wouldn't dare stop me

damn i wish i was a nigger

a lot of things in life i know, but one thing i cant figure

why a nigger can call me a honkey, and i cant call a nigger a nigger

if i was a jungle bunny, i could ring a golden bell

i could be a Mohammed Ali, and be loved by Howard Coozell

damn i wish i was a nigger

if i was a you-bangy, 7 foot tall and lean

i could be a famous player, on the Washington basketball team

if i was only chocolate brown, i could have me some turnip greens

a possum fat an watermelon, chitlens and a pot of butter beans

damn i wish i was a nigger

now when Martin Luther King, was buried in Washington with class

face down in his box, so the politicians could kiss his ass

i guess its just politics, and it sure gets my goat

kiss assin with a nigger, just to get his vote

damn i wish i was a nigger

if i was only a ?birdhead?, id live high on the hill

sellin cocaine and prostitutes, and poppin all kinds of pills

now take the NAACP, they can march and raise all kinds of hell

let the KKK start to move, and they'll all wind up in jail

damn i wish i was a nigger

i dreamed my life was over, i heard saint peter say

today we're taken on the niggers, you've gotta go the..other way

then i heard the devil, he said i heard what peter had to say

but I'm sorry to tell you son, today in hell...is nigger day

damn don't you wish you were a nigger

I'm going back to the hills of Arkansas, where they don't have those not damn one sided nigger peace marches

protesters, welfare check grabbers, I'm gon' plant me some turnip greens in a watermelon patch

raise me a hog, and a big fat possum

i said yes i am you mother