Damn, I Wish I Was A Nigger

if i was a nigger...i could drive a cadillac with class
my pocket stuffed with welfare checks, and i could sit on my big black ass
now you take a nigger, he aint nobody's fool, he doesn't buy any gasoline to drive his kids to school
damn i wish i was a nigger
our government has gone crazy, id change things if i could
if i was only a nigger, i could afford to live in a white neighborhood
oh the things that i could do, if i was black and hell bent
i could send my kids to college, and it wouldn't cost me one damn cent
damn i wish i was a nigger
the wife and i were down on our luck, we were really getting uptight
they said at the welfare office, you aint black you're white
oh how I've tried to get a job, a diploma i had with pride
the post office man laughed and said youre not dark enough to even qualify
damn i wish i was a nigger
i took a civil service exam, and passed it without shame
a nigger took one next to me, and he couldnt even write his own name
the nigger, he got the job, now he's government top brass?
he couldn't qualify for a trash truck, I'm out on the street on my ass
damn i wish i was a nigger
if i was a Jesse Jackson, id be nobody's slob
wearin $500.00 dollar suits, that nigger hasn't even got a job
if i was Jackson Brown, i could sit back and relax
and if elected president, could paint the white house black
damn i wish i was a nigger
if i was a jig-a-boo, i could find me my roots
with a afro big as a watermelon, and a pair of white disco boots
if i was only dark complexioned, i could stand tall in this life
i could eat high off the hog, just me and my white wife
damn i wish i was a nigger
things are supposed to be segregated, but things are a little off key
I've never seen a white man, head...of the NAACP
it aint that i don't like a nigger, if I've rubbed you wrong by chance
take a look at that mistletoe, hanging on the seat of my pants
damn i wish i was a nigger
if i was a kinky top, i could be a Martin Luther King
id have me a vision on a mountain top, my song the whole world would sing
i could have me a peace march, on the streets of Memphis, Tennessee
i could tare up the whole damn city, and the police wouldn't dare stop me
damn i wish i was a nigger
a lot of things in life i know, but one thing i cant figure
why a nigger can call me a honkey, and i cant call a nigger a nigger
if i was a jungle bunny, i could ring a golden bell
i could be a Mohammed Ali, and be loved by Howard Coozell
damn i wish i was a nigger
if i was a you-bangy, 7 foot tall and lean
i could be a famous player, on the Washington basketball team
if i was only chocolate brown, i could have me some turnip greens
a possum fat an watermelon, chitlens and a pot of butter beans
damn i wish i was a nigger
now when Martin Luther King, was buried in Washington with class
face down in his box, so the politicians could kiss his ass
i guess its just politics, and it sure gets my goat
kiss assin with a nigger, just to get his vote
damn i wish i was a nigger
if i was only a ?birdhead?, id live high on the hill
sellin cocaine and prostitutes, and poppin all kinds of pills
now take the NAACP, they can march and raise all kinds of hell
let the KKK start to move, and they'll all wind up in jail
damn i wish i was a nigger
i dreamed my life was over, i heard saint peter say
today we're taken on the niggers, you've gotta go the..other way
then i heard the devil, he said i heard what peter had to say
but I'm sorry to tell you son, today in hell...is nigger day
damn don't you wish you were a nigger
I'm going back to the hills of Arkansas, where they don't have those not damn one sided nigger peace marches
protesters, welfare check grabbers, I'm gon' plant me some turnip greens in a watermelon patch
raise me a hog, and a big fat possum
i said yes i am you mother