Are Birthdays Happy?

Once I was a bully
I couldn't stand weakness
in somebody´s side
to understand it fully
you gotta be haunted
by the same black dogs as I
and spend your days worrying
that you never see the surface

Once again it's February
and it's time to celebrate our birthdays
but are birthdays happy
or are they just countdown to death?
is there need to worry
there might not be much time left?
I haven't lived my life yet

Then it happens
it just blows your mind
the madness of your life