(It's) Hairspray

"And now, live, from the certified up-to-code Baltimore Eventorium
For the first time ever on nationwide television
It's The Corny Collins Spectacular"

"He's Corny"

"Brought to you by Ultra Clutch Hairspray"

"What gives a girl
Power and punch?
Is it charm, is it poise?
No, it's hairspray"

"What gets a gal
Asked out to lunch
Is it brains, is it dough?
No, it's hairspray"

"If you take a ride
With no can at your side
Then your flip will be gone
With the wind"

"But if you spray it and lock it,
You can take off in a rocket
And in outer space
Each hair will be in place"

"Why take a chance
When you get up and dance
If you twist, I insist
You use hairspray"

"And tell your mother
Her head she should smother
With ultra-clutch faithfully"

"So if you're a redhead,
A blond or brunette
Just take my advice
And you might just get
The only thing better than hairspray"

"That's me"

"Ska-doo-dle-e-ya
Doo-dle-e-ya do wah"

"Forget the milkman
The only thing better than hairspray"

"Hairspray, wow"

"That's me"

"What makes a man
Reach out and touch?
Ultra clutch"

"So if you're a redhead,
A blond or brunette
Just take my advice
And you might just get"

"The only thing better than hairspray
That's me"

"Ska-doo-dle-e-ya
Doo-dle-e-ya do wah"

"He's Corny Collins"

"The only thing better than hairspray'

"Hairspray, now"

"That's me"

"Ska-doo-dle-e-ya do wah
Ska-doo-dle-e-ya do wah
Do wow"

"Hey, baby, you look like
You could use a stiff one"

"Ska-doo-dle-e-ya-do do wah"