Saint Judas

When I went out to kill myself
I caught a pack of Hoodlums
beating up a man
running to spare his suffering
I forgot my name, my number
How my day began
How soldiers milled around the garden stone
and sang amusing songs
how all that day
their javelins measured crowds
How I alone
bargained the proper coins
and slipped away
Banished from heaven
I found this victim
beaten stripped kneed
and left to cry
dropping aside my rope
I ran
ignored the uniforms
then I remembered bread
my flesh had eaten
the kiss that ate my flesh
flayed without hope
I held that man for nothing
in my arms