Twisted Life

I give what I can
but it's never enough
beaten down by the one I've tried to love
everyday it's the same
and I wish I could change
but I'm stuck with this cold DNA
so I put on an act
I put on a show
my clever disguise will never let you know
that underneath my smile
beneath my flesh and skin
I'm shaking and I'm breaking within
blame
there is no one else
I'm the only one
ashamed
of the things I want to do
but have never gotten done
I can't stay here
it's freezing in the winter
I could move there
I might enjoy the summer
but where do you begin
when you just don't fit in

I'm out of my hands
running out of love
and I can't rely on the person I've become
broken by design
what a twisted life

I don't sleep too well these days
it's the nightmares that keep me awake
I can't make them go away
will I ever escape?
they rule every night and ruin everyday
they detain me and chain me awake
my glory days are a haze
of long forgotten ways
up in smoke
come and gone like a song on the radio
I can't stay here
no one really knows me
I can't move there
I just don't have the money
and as I come undone
I can't fight the urge to run

waste away
the sun will rise without you
and bring us to a brand new day
find your way
what is it that defines you?
what is it that confines you this way?