To Catch a Predator

I'm on the internet
posing as a little girl,
I'm tryin' to lure evil into my world.
I tell them that I'm curious and I'm
only twelve! Mom and Dad are gone
for the day- I'm by myself.

Buckets of throw-up are
next to my computer
Hopin' that they show up, 'cause what
I'm about to do to 'em would make
the Devil sick
I sharpen my blade
Frontin' to this perv
like I'm only in the seventh grade!

The doorbell rings,
I gotta get him inside
In my best little girl's voice I'm like
“Hi! Come on in!
I'm puttin' on my bikini!”
And when the door shuts, that's when
I let him see me “Hi there!”

I stab him in the neck first
'Cause it hurts
Hit him when the blood squirts
Carve his whole face off
and make him eat it
Chain him up by the foot in the
basement, bleedin'

I'm prob'ly gunna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'mma earn
But it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)
And it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)

I'm prob'ly gunna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'mma earn
But it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)

Soon enough Feds will be shuttin' down my service
'Cause people out there think
they don't deserve this (HA!)
Until it's your kid an old man's finger-fuckin', titty-suckin', then you'll want the knife STUCK IN

I don't blame ya, that's why I catch 'em in advance, while his dick is still in his pants they never get the chance
I tell them I'm all alone and that I'm only thirteen, lookin' for a good time- you know what I mean?

Bring me some Funyons, and a slurpee
promise not to hurt me
or give me herpes
And within 20 minutes here comes a fuckin' doctor, knocking at my door
a pedophile butt-knocker!

“Come in, have a seat!”
And then I stroll in with the all-purpose huntin' blade
straight up his curtain
I cut his hands off- he ain't
touchin' nobody
Chain him up by the foot in the basement, bloody

Pedophile: Wait, please Mr. Clown sir, you don't have to do this-
J: ZIP IT!
Pedophile: Wait, please I've got money we can work this out-
J: Shut it, FUCKER!
Pedophile: Please, we can work this out-
J: SILENCE I say!

Stick him next to this other fool
Both left for dead
Every time I walk by 'em,
I punch 'em in the head
Cut they fuckin' dicks off,
stick them in eachother's mouths
NOW what y'all talkin' about?





I'm prob'ly gunna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'mma earn
But it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator
And it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)

I'm prob'ly gunna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'mma earn
But it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)

Interrogator: What's in the bag?
Pedophile: Funyons and condoms...
Interrogator: What's in the bag?
Pedophile: Funyons and condoms...
Interrogator: What's in the bag?
Pedophile: Funyons and condoms...
Interrogator: Why did you bring condoms?
Pedophile: I didn't mean to!

The house is getting' funky
bodies in the basement stinkin'
What the fuck am I thinkin'?
I put my facepaint on, go downstairs
and beat they ass sometimes
'Cause it ease my mind

Some of them are dead
and some are still livin'
But I'ma hurt 'em every chance
that I'm given
I hit 'em with the nail gun,
or the stun gun!
They can't run, so they both
mad fun

I was sawin' a head off
when I heard the doorbell
I'm not expectin' any predators
but oh well
I took my spot-
“Come in! I'll be right there.”
But I left a head sittin'
on a living room chair!

He seen it and ran
I had to give chase
We cut across the lawn with
my knife swingin' for his face
I threw it, stuck him in
the back of the neck
still in my drawers
I dragged him home, a bloody wreck

Pedophile: AHH! Somebody help-
J: Zip it.
Pedophile: AHH, please-
J: Shut it the fuck up!
Pedohile: AHHH-
J: People are looking, silence!

A bus full of high school kids
watched it happen
He kept screamin' like a pansy
despite my the slappin'
Plus the neighbors seen it,
and so did the mailman
But they all never said nothin'
'bout it again

I'm prob'ly gunna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'mma earn
But it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)
And it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)

I'm prob'ly gunna burn for this
Ain't no lesson to learn from this
There's nothing I'mma earn
But it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)
I said it sure is fun!
(To catch a predator)