Porno Stuntman

Leaping from the top of the wardrobe
Just like batman from the 22nd floor
A bathtowel for a cape I fear nothing
For you I'd do all of this and more,
I take the bumps,
I take the knocks,
I'm your very own porno-stuntman.

I take the bumps,
I take the knocks,
I take the edge off while your love-life sucks

Might be a stand-in lover But I do what I can,
I'm your very own porno-stuntman.
I'll take a roll in the hay at midnight,
Riskin'me a punch in the jaw,
Lord knows I'd probably get more than that If anybody heard or saw,
None of your friends have ever seen me,
I am behind the scenes without a face,
But when your main man's acting up again,
Just you name the time an place

I'm an academy award winning no-one
Hidden in your closet I'm a toy
But I'm your key-grip, dolly,
I'm no extra I'm up there in the credits as best boy.

I take the bumps,
I take the knocks,
I take the edge off while your love-life sucks