Shame

I wonder if you can see
I wonder if you can tell
I wonder if you see through the mask I wear so well
I'll never let you know what's going on inside me
My shame locks me down
All the things I wanted tell you
Are all the things I never will
Every time you reached out to me
All I did was push you away
I can't unchain the beast that screams inside me
I hate it, it's what I am
It makes me sick to be so mean
What I've been and what I've seen
From top to bottom, I am obscene
It stands in my place
It spits in my face
Shame
You smile I smile back
You ask me how I am I say I'm fine
I don't know why I'm so torn up inside my mind
The darkness swallows me whole
Don't go too deep, don't ask me why
Don't try to know me, don't make me lie
I wish I didn't know the things I know so well
I try to change but it's what I am