Crucial Life Lessons For Young Children

When you're hanging out with friends
And you wanna play pretend
If you wanna be a man in space
You need a helmet on your face
But you don't need a real spacesuit
Any household item will do
So put a plastic bag on your head
Put a plastic bag on your head

Your mom and dad were joking when they said you're allergic to nuts
You are not allergic to nuts, no way!
'Cause no one is allergic to nuts, they made it up!
So go ahead and eat some nuts

If there's doody in your pants, that's food

Don't read, yeah yeah
Don't read, yeah yeah

Lightbulbs can go in the microwave
Lightbulbs can go in the microwave

If you're angry and you're scared, hit your friend

Pour your milk on your dad's computer
Pour your milk on your dad's computer
Just do it, kid!
Fuck it, I'm sure your dad will love it
When you pour your milk on his brand new computer